Are you or your spouse contemplating a divorce but would prefer to stay together? The first thing that you need to save your marriage is the willingness of both parties to want to make things work. Consider seeking the advice of a marriage counselor or relationship coach because they may be able to provide guidance from an experienced neutral perspective. Here are five ways you may want consider trying to use to save your marriage.
Start With Written Communication
You can write down the things your husband currently does that make you happy followed by the things you wished he would do. In this way, you put a positive approach to your problems, which should not make him defensive. Ask him to make a similar list about you. Writing is becoming a lost art of communication. But it is effective because you are able to fully express yourself without interruptions. You may take this a step further and text your husband short loving messages as you may have done while dating. This is a way to get good communication going with him again and prepare a path for constructive discussion.
Set Aside Face To Face Time
There may be many distractions in your life such as work or children. However, it is important to have one on one time with your husband. Make a commitment to put aside some time when neither of you is tired nor rushed and stick to it. You can use this time to talk about simple things such as how your day was or anything else you may wish. The goal is to start talking again and reconnecting as a couple. As you both become more comfortable with this setting, you can calmly seek a resolution to your problems. Endeavour to make this a safe time to be together without accusations or insinuations. Here you can examine different points of view and see if you can find some middle ground or compromise. When you are both speaking freely again, you can examine what went wrong with your marriage, discuss ways to prevent such a recurrence and help each other to stay focused.
Spend Quality Time Together
Try to make time for you and your husband to have a date at least once per month. Once per week is preferable, but this is really dependent on how full your schedules are. Go to the places or events you enjoyed before you got married and remind yourselves about why you fell in love in the first place. It may be easier to rekindle your love life if you are in a place that brings back good memories. You can also seek out new experiences that you both are comfortable with. This may give an insight into what each party finds truly enjoyable and if this is sustainable.
Give Each Other Space
This does not mean that you are to be separated. Try to give each other some alone time. Make time to pursue your hobbies because this may be an enjoyable way for you to recharge your energy. Give your husband time to enjoy his hobbies as well. After that, you may both be more relaxed when you are together. It is important to have a creative outlet which may be gardening or working on a car.
Recommit To Your Marriage
You may consider renewing your marriage vows or even making new ones to show your growth. This can prove to be very helpful as you are both more aware of what the other person needs and how to fulfill those needs. This also shows that you are putting the past behind and looking towards a better future together. You do not need to go all out and have another ceremony. Do not put yourself through unnecessary expense. You only need two people who are truly ready to commit to each other again.
These suggestions are just a few of the ways that you can use to try to help rescue your marriage. Please feel free to share this article with friends or family that may have problems in their marriage. For more tips on improving your marriage, download The Wise Wife Manifesto. You can also comment below on what you have done to help with any problems that you have had in your marriage. Your thoughts and experiences are always welcome.