Jealousy is a natural emotion and can be helpful in maintaining a healthy relationship. If you are a little envious of your husband’s female acquaintance, then do not be alarmed. This can influence positive changes such as spending more time together and, being more concerned about each other’s feelings. Jealousy, as with many other things, should only be in small doses or it may become toxic. If you are being overly jealous, then you will become the “green-eyed monster”. Yes, it’s a bit cliché but if you are allowing jealousy to erode your marriage, then it truly fits. It must be said that jealousy can be caused by a lack of trust in your spouse or a lack of self-confidence. You should consider seeking counseling to help you with serious marital problems. Having said that, you can find some tips below that may help you to get your jealousy under control.
Acknowledge The Problem
The first step is to acknowledge that your jealousy is hurting your spouse and your marriage. For there to be a positive change, you must accept that you cannot continue as you are. Examine the root cause of your jealousy. Be honest with yourself. If your jealousy is caused by your husband being unfaithful previously, then you may be in for a challenge. Even with couple counseling, it may be hard to put aside your feelings of mistrust. This is not to say that your marriage is over but be aware that this will take time and a lot of effort from the both of you. Your jealousy may be caused by a bad relationship with an old boyfriend. If this is the case, you cannot let your husband suffer for what someone else did. Your marriage is a special relationship that you should not ruin with baseless accusations. If your jealousy is a result of poor self-confidence or self-worth, then you can take steps to try to correct this. Talk to your husband about what you like about each other and assure each other of your love. Take steps to overcome any shortcomings you may see in yourself and read self-improvement literature.
Commit To Change
Having accepted that you have a problem, now work on finding ways to help you correct it, you must now fully commit to making changes. As the saying goes “practice makes perfect” so don’t be dissuaded if you have setbacks. Take it one step at a time. Congratulate yourself on your progress. As previously said, a little jealousy is fine so don’t attempt to be too restrictive. Finding the balance will take effort. It is different for each individual and scenario so just keep at it. With this type of mind frame, you will set yourself up for success. If you are spying on or keeping track of your spouse, then you must stop these actions and allow your mind to be at ease. Realize that there is no need for you to try to control your husband. Allow your faith to grow. As a couple, you can explore the possibility of setting ground rules that you both are comfortable with. This will lead to better communication and a deeper understanding of each other’s expectations.
Make Your Marriage Meaningful
Take the time to enjoy each other and have meaningful conversations and experiences. This will help to build the trust you have and may reduce your feelings of jealousy. Knowing that no other woman can be what you are to your husband is a powerful feeling. Being safe and secure in your love for each other is truly priceless. It may be challenging to find the time to spend with your husband with work and kids but if you neglect your husband then your guilt may make you jealous. Be mature in your marriage and take your vows and responsibilities seriously. Have fun with your husband and make him your best friend, and your rock. Go on dates and don’t be afraid to cuddle and hug in front of the kids. You may have to give your husband his space sometimes but you also have to make “us time” a priority.
Don’t let jealousy become a problem in your marriage when you can use it as a tool for making your marriage better. If you truly do not like a relationship that your husband has, then you must find a way to resolve this with him. Thank you for reading. For further reading on the topic download the Wise Wife Manifesto. As always, your thoughts are welcome so please feel free to leave a comment below.