As human beings, we are unable to achieve perfection. This is something we all acknowledge on some level. However, when it comes to saying sorry for making a mistake, it can become difficult. Being able to admit that you are wrong is a skill that is necessary for a good marriage. In some households, the men have more experience with apologizing. However, there are cases when we as women do make mistakes. An example would be shouting at your husband or saying something hurtful without thinking about it. It is never right to hurt the feelings of the one you love. If it happens, you should attempt to make amends. A man may not show that he is hurt but he is a human being with feelings, which he expects you to consider. If you have physically hurt him or been unfaithful, then you both may need marital coaching or counselling. For that, please get in touch with us directly or do research to find another professional. Otherwise, here are a few suggestions to take into account when you have a conflict where you know you are at fault or you’ve mistreated your husband and need to ask for his forgiveness.
Do It Quickly
Make an effort to apologize as soon as you know that you have done something wrong. The longer it takes you to make an apology is the harder it will be, and the more hurt your husband may feel. Think of times that you have been hurt. Doesn’t it make a difference when your husband apologizes quickly to you? This may also make your husband more ready to forgive you, depending on what you have done of course.
It is important to sincerely apologize to your husband as this may determine if he accepts it. Simply saying the words with no meaning behind it is likely to cause even more conflict. Do not belittle your husband’s intelligence by going through the motions and expecting him to forgive and forget.
Use Body Language
Gently make physical contact with your husband to express your love for him. You can hold his hand and look him in the eyes when you apologize to convey your feelings more intimately. A hug or a kiss to make up is also strongly advised as the power of touch is great indeed.
Do Not Pass The Blame
When you apologize, please refrain from accusing your husband of being the cause of your mistake. You should take responsibility for your actions and do not engage in politics. The use of words such as “but” or “because” should be avoided as they may put your husband in a defensive frame of mind. If your husband chooses to apologize to you in return, then accept it graciously.
Do Not Rehash Old Arguments
You should not mention any past mistakes your husband made while you are seeking forgiveness. Bringing up the past will seem like an attempt to justify the wrong you have done which may only cause more conflict. This may also give the impression that you have not forgiven his past mistakes and you are keeping a tally to use against him. You would not want your husband to keep a journal of your every mistake to use against you so give him the same courtesy.
Do Not Send Apology Texts
It is always best to apologize face to face with your husband. However, it is acceptable to apologize via a phone call. If you are unable to get your spouse on the phone, then you can leave a voice message but you should not send text messages. Sending a message to your spouse while the both of you are at home is being immature. You have the power to ensure that communication with your spouse is lovingly sent. This should positively affect the delivery.
It is possible that your husband may not be willing to forgive you immediately. Do not be frustrated or pushy. Give him time to accept your apology. You have no control over another person’s reaction so it is best for you to be patient and understanding.
After getting your husband’s forgiveness, it should enable you both to learn and grow together in love. Make the best effort you can to not repeat your mistakes as this will be an unnecessary setback. Thank you for reading and as always, please feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section below. Also, get in touch if you need one to one support, we’d love to help in any way that we can.